I never really considered doing book reviews on this blog or writing about specific horrific incidents either, but I finished reading “The Downwind Walk: A USAR Paramedic’s Experience after the Terrorist Attacks on September 11, 2001” by Steve Kanarian just hours before the shots rang out at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. Let me say upfront that this will also probably not be the sort of book review you might expect, but I doubt the book will be what you expect it to be either. The book at least, is much more than it appears. Steve is a Paramedic, a retired FDNY EMS Lieutenant, and now I am happy to call him my friend as well. He has given me a gift through his pain and I hope you will take it as well.
From the title I was expecting a journal of the messy details written by a “Forrest Gump”-type character who was always in the right place at the right time and would take me into the depths of the response that day. What I discovered was an even more real experience than I imagined. It was his exact experience including the hours and days of simply waiting to be of use. Most surprising was that the greatest interest of the book for me became the continuation of his story long after the actual event and even after his final day working at ground zero. It was the story of every first responder who is called to action at any Mass Casualty Incident (MCI) anywhere.
During my own initial training as an EMT, my instructor dutifully covered the section on stress management from the AAOS guide including Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) and without hardly a breath broke out of instructor mode and told us flatly that he was required to say all that, but that in reality it simply never happens. I don’t know how it is in very many different services on this topic, but I suspect my instructor was not an anomaly. As both a professional and as a human, my heart goes out to all of the responders in Aurora and elsewhere who have had to clean up the messes left by mass murderers. I believe so strongly that they need to hear his story that I would be happy to send my own copy of the book to anyone who responded to the theater shootings if you cannot get a copy yourself. I think it is genuinely that important.
Sure, it was clear that this was his first book and the publisher made some mistakes in the printing, but for me, the story was well beyond the words. It was the call to action – not to help others, but to know your limits, understand yourself, and be willing to seek help when you need it. Your value as a Paramedic, an EMT, a firefighter, or a police officer is not your strength but in recognizing your limits. Thanks, Steve!